Come away, O human child! To the waters and the wild.

Are educational standards falling?

2009-09-15T15:06:40Z

This is a test given to 14-year old boys and girls who wanted to work at Cleator Moor Co-op in the 1930s - either as errand boys or shop assistants. To make the test easier for you, the figures have been converted from pounds, shillings and pence into decimal. No calculators, spell checks, computers etc to be used. And no cheating!

I know I certainly couldn't answer them all!

The answers can be found at www.whitehaven-news.co.uk/answers

1.    What is the cost of 148 articles at £1.23 each?

2.    If 95 articles cost £11.40 what is the cost of one?

3. How much change will you recieve out of £20 after paying for 138 articles at 8p each?

4. State the correct spelling in each of these sentences.....
          a) The secretary ordered some more stationary/stationery
          b) To be good at sport, they practise/practice regularly
         c) He is a man of principal/principle

5.   Give an antonym to the following words
          a) gentle
          b) amateur
          c) temporary
          d) public

6.   How many inches are there in 3/4 of a mile?

7.   Insert the missing line in this sum
          £          p
          1          29
          3          48          +
          2          22          +
          ?          ?            +
          --------------------------------------------
          10        17         Total

8.   Total the rows and columns (all figures in pence)
          Groceries         Drapery          Cafe          Total
          23                      49                     51
          99                      14                     64
          09                      19                     76
          41                      06                     84
          --------------------------------------------------------------
          --------------------------------------------------------------

9.   What is 89,544 x 13

10.   What is the cost of...
           a) 6lbs of butter at 45p per lb
           b) Three and a half pounds of lard at 82p per lb
           c) Five and a quarter pounds of bacon at 44p per lb
           d) 21lbs of potatoes at £2 per stone

11.   The London to Nottingham train travels at a constant speed of 75mph and takes 1 hour 36 minutes to complete a journey. What is the distance it travels?

Washing machine

2009-07-31T11:47:55Z

Does anyone need or know someone who needs a washing machine? It's a Hotpoint machine that's been recently reconditioned by Gav's Dad (he was a washing machine mechanic so it's been done very well). He needs to find a home for it as it's cluttering up the garage, he's asking for £50. Please let me know if you're interested.

Away with the fairies

2009-07-24T12:14:18Z

Seeing as we're aiming to attend Caption this year, I decided to attempt a picture for them. This years theme is 'Away with the fairies'.

Shiny happy things

2009-02-20T11:02:37Z

Life is good at the moment, Gav and I have been living in our little (freezing!) flat for a whole year now.
-
I have almost completed my Magnum Opus and I have started applying for Postdocs.
-
I have just inherited myself a concertina, it's not a particularly expensive or old one but I think it's lovely, now I have to learn to play the bugger!
-

-
June (Gav's mum) taught me to knit at christmas, I am now embarking on my first project, making myself a patchwork jumper from knitted squares. I may be in danger of becoming hooked!
-
After much cajouling from Gav (and the buying of a sketchbook for christmas) I am drawing a lot more than I used to. It's evidently beginning to pay off. I was sketching on the train yesterday when a lovely lady asked if she could have a look at my sketchbook. She said she thought my drawings were really good and asked me if I was a professional artist. Then she gave me her card because she is a professional artist!
-

La Machine

2008-09-08T13:23:24Z

Sunday night's finale of La Machine was incredible. We were outside the museums so we had a good view of the spider as it came past and then we had a good view down the hill for the finale.

P1011022, originally uploaded by calmllama.

P1011092, originally uploaded by calmllama.

P1011090, originally uploaded by calmllama.

Then on our way home we spotted this must have photo. I'm really proud of this one.

P1011112, originally uploaded by calmllama.

I'm so bad!

2008-02-08T11:46:05Z

I may have just bought this.....

I must stop buying pretties now! I've been so good with money recently, but the pretties have started to win!

Stolen from my ikkle sister

2007-06-05T13:29:24Z

There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).
If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take 2 good friends to the nearest pub. Purchase the
antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE).

The quickest acting WINE type is called Swift-Hitting-Infiltrator-Remover-All-Zones (SHIRAZ) but this is only available for those who can afford it, the next best equivalent is Cheapest-Available-System-Killer (CASK). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

Note: After extensive testing it has been concluded that Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be substituted for WINE but
may require a more generous application.

calmllama @ 2026-11-13T15:50:00

2006-11-13T15:50:37Z

calmllama @ 2006-09-25T10:33:00

2006-09-25T09:35:28Z

had horse fall on me yesterday, got a dislocated rib and bruised legs but otherwise ok. will be falling out of sight for a bit till healed.

The night sky in summer - huge post alert!

2006-08-18T11:50:14Z

Ok, so I'm bored and on my way home last night I was star gazing, so I thought I would follow up my previous post and yabber on about some of the things we can see in our night sky at the moment.....

The Milky Way galaxy is the spiral galaxy we call home, as do roughly 100 billion other stars. It looks very much like other spiral galaxies when viewed from above. There are spiral arms and a bright central part. The Sun is far from the center of the Galaxy, halfway to the edge of the Galaxy along the Orion spiral arm.

The Sun is revolving around the center of the Galaxy at a speed of half a million miles per hour, yet it will still take 200 million years for it to go around once. Do you feel like you are moving at that speed through space? If you did, you would certainly need a seat belt! When we run, we feel the wind on our bodies because there are molecules which make up the air that push against our bodies. But there are very few molecules in the space between the stars. So there is nothing to push against our planet so that we "feel" like we are rushing around at half a million miles per hour.

Like other spiral galaxies, the Milky Way has a bulge, a disk, and a halo. Although all are parts of the same galaxy, each contains different objects. The halo and central bulge contain old stars and the disk is filled with gas, dust, and young stars. Our Sun is itself a fairly young star at only 5 billion years old. The Milky Way galaxy is at least 5 billion years older than that.

Aquila - The celestial eagle is one of the three constellations which have bright stars forming the Summer Triangle. A nearly perfectly straight line of three stars symbolizes part of the wings. The center and brightest of these three stars is Altair. The tips of the wings extend further to the southeast and northwest. The head of the eagle stretches off to the southwest.

To the ancient Greeks, Aquila was the servant of Zeus who held the god's thunderbolts and performed errands for him. He may also be the great eagle who devours Prometheus' liver as punishment for giving fire to humans. The line of three stars which includes Altair is revered by Indians as the footprints of the god Vishnu. Some Asian traditions see the bright star Vega as the Weaving-Princess star who marries a shephard, the star Altair.

Cygnus - the Swan, is also known as the Northern Cross because of it's shape. The tail of the swan is marked by the bright star Deneb, Arabic for "tail". Three fainter stars cross the line between Deneb and the head of the swan, Albireo. Cygnus flies southward along the summer Milky Way, and into the Summer Triangle.

Deneb is a bright, blue supergiant star, very young as stars go. Albireo, the bill of the swan, is actually two stars which show a spectacular amber and blue contrast. Cygnus is also sprinkled with a variety of nebulae, including the North American Nebula and the Veil Nebula.
Albireo

The identity of Cygnus is uncertain. He could be Zeus in the guise in which he seduced Leda, the mother of Helen of Troy. In one myth, Cygnus is a friend of Phaethon, the son of Apollo, the sun god. Phaethon fell into the river Eridanus, trying to drive the sun-gods chariot. Cygnus dove repeatedly into the water to search for Phaethon. Out of pity, Zeus turned the boy into a swan

Hercules - the great Greek warrior, can be seen kneeling in the sky for northern latitudes throughout the Spring months. Hercules first becomes visible in the east in April, and works his way high across the night sky through October. From the southern hemisphere, he appears low in the north. Four relatively bright stars form what is commonly known as the Keystone. Hercules' arms and legs extend from this central square.

By far the most exciting object to see in Hercules is the magnificent globular cluster M13, which is visible in dark night skies even without binoculars or a telescope. This cluster of 300,000 stars appears as a faint fuzzy spot to the naked eye. It is located between the stars which form the western side of the Keystone.
M13

Many other constellations, like Leo, the Lion, Hydra, the nine-headed Serpent, and Draco, the Dragon, were unfortunate victims of Hercules, and thus were also placed in the sky. Cancer, the Crab was sent by Hera to annoy Hercules in his battles, and became yet another victim of the hero.

Lyra - the Lyre, is a type of small harp held in the player's lap. The brightest star in Lyra, Vega, is placed in the handle of the harp. A small parallelogram of four faint stars just to the southeast of Vega outline the harp itself. Lyra is one of three constellations whose brightest stars form the Summer Triangle.

Vega is a very bright star (the fifth brightest in the whole sky) and is very close. Lyra is also home to one of the brightest, loveliest planetary nebulae, the Ring Nebula. It can be viewed with binoculars, although it's distinctive smoke-ring shape cannot.
Ring Nebula

According to Greek mythology, the lyre was invented by Hermes as a child when he strung a tortoise shell. He traded the lyre to Apollo, who then gave it to his son, Orpheus, a great poet and musician. Some Asian traditions see the bright star Vega as the Weaving-Princess star who marries a shephard, the star Altair.

Ophiuchus - the Serpent Bearer. This large constellation can be seen in the night sky from June through October. Although most of the stars are dim, Ophiuchus' teapot shape makes it easy to find.

The constellation is a combination of three different figures. Ophiuchus is holding Serpens Caput in his left hand, and Serpens Cauda in his right. He is located south of Hercules and north of Scorpius.
In Greek myth, Ophiuchus represents the god of medicine, Asclepius. Asclepius was the son of Apollo and was taught by Chiron, the Centaur. He learned how to bring people back from the dead, which worried Hades. The god of the underworld asked his brother Zeus to kill the medicine god. Zeus did strike him dead, but then put the figure of Asclepius in the sky to honor him.
There aren't many bright stars in this constellation, but there is a rather unique one. RS Ophiuchi is a type of star called a recurrent nova. These strange objects stay dim for long periods of time, and then suddenly brighten. The brightest star is called Ras Alhague, and is the head of the serpent bearer.
Ophiuchus is full of celestial objects. There are numerous clusters and one nebula in the constellation.

Sagittarius - the centaur, with the torso of a man atop the body of a horse. Unlike the wise and peaceful centaur Chiron (Centauron), Sagittarius is aiming his giant bow at his neighbor, Scorpius. While this is a very large constellation, its stars are relatively faint and most people easily recognize just the central figure which resembles a teapot with a lid, handle, and spout.

More than a dozen objects reside in Sagittarius, including globular clusters. Recently, astronomers have discovered a small galaxy in Sagittarius that is crashing through the Milky Way.
Exactly who is Sagittarius? The Mediterranean people viewed him as Enkidu, the close friend of Gilgamesh, believed to be represented by Orion. Greek mythology associates Sagittarius with Crotus, the son of the goat-god Pan and Eupheme, the nurse of the Muses. He grew to be a skilled hunter, as well as a man with an artistic soul. The Muses, with whom he was raised, begged Zeus to honor him with a constellation equal to his great talents

Scorpius - the scorpion. More than any other constellation, Scorpius resembles its given name. If you live in the northern hemisphere of the Earth, Scorpius crawls across the southern sky, close to the horizon. But if you live in the southern hemisphere, it passes high in the sky. The bright star Antares marks the heart of the arachnid, and its long curving tail trails to the south. The scorpion once had claws, but they were cut off by Julius Ceasar to form the constellation Libra.

Where stars are concerned, whatever you are looking for, you can probably find it in Scorpius. Antares is an unmistakable, brilliant red supergiant star at the heart of the scorpion. One of the largest, brightest globular clusters in the sky is in Scorpius.
Antares

The scorpion holds an infamous place in Greek mythology as the slayer of Orion. One story tells that Orion fled the scorpion by swimming the sea to the island of Delos to see his lover, Athena. Apollo, seeking to punish Athena, joined her and challenged her hunting skills, daring her to shoot the black dot that approached in the water. Athena won the challenge, unknowingly killing her lover by doing

At last, a useful occupation for an army........

2006-08-02T12:12:09Z

......transporting penguins!

I think that's really rather sweet!

The Zooniverse

2006-07-31T11:46:56Z

Thursday was a great day. It was ikkleruby's burfday so we all toddled over to Chester Zoo for the day.

Much fun was had.

He has such cool ears!

Sleepy lizard

Jaguars are sooooo beautiful. We saw this one nearly catch a pigeon. There's one bird around somewhere with a bald bottom!

Dancing Penguins - step 1 bow to your partner

Step 2 look to the left. Soo cute!

"Stop taking photos, do you want me to come over there and make you?"

Stripey bottom!

Then we went out to the Jacaranda and got pist (Again!)

David Gemmel died today

2006-07-30T01:56:55Z

He will be missed..........

calmllama @ 2006-07-28T13:34:00

2006-07-28T13:14:33Z

It's funny how one tiny incident can completely change your mood!

I had to ring a company for information about one of their products and the guy I spoke to sounded exactly (and I mean exactly) like......... wait for it........ Richmond!!!!

I was transported into a dream world. I nearly choked when he said "Sorry I've just accidentally logged myself out of the data base."
Imagine that said in THAT voice and you'll know what I mean.

Ohhhh, Richmond..............

*wanders off into Noel induced daydream!*

For those of you who have never seen The IT Crowd I apologise for my sudden outburst of insanity!

Angels of Liverpool

2006-07-25T13:44:27Z

Having been inspired by the book I got last week I am taking it upon myself to build up my own collection of photos of angels. Took a few in the cemetary on Smithdown Road this morning on my way to work.

So, does anyone know of any other places in this loverly city which house hidden angels? I'm going to check out the cemetary in Allerton this evening but apart from that can't think of any.

It's fun travelling with a camera and having a purpose. Helped me de-stress no end.

calmllama @ 2006-07-24T14:25:00

2006-07-24T13:29:04Z

I've just discovered that I have to do another presentation. The abstract has to be in next week. They love giving us plenty of notice!

Me be stressed now! Argghh......grrrrrrr........

Will somebody please remind me why I am subjecting myself to this torture otherwise known as a PhD?

Sweet silent thought

2006-07-21T14:11:07Z

I think this poem sums up how I'm feeling right now.....

Happy the man, and happy he alone,
He who can call today his own:
He who, secure within, can say,
Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today.
Be fair or foul or rain or shine
The joys I have posessed, in spite of fate, are mine.
Not heaven itself upon the past has power,
But what has been, has been, and I have had my hour.

Happy the Man
John Dryden, 1631 - 1700

I bought a book with another £20 of my prize book vouchers today. It's a collection of photographs of angelic sculpture from around the world. The photos are absolutely stunning. I'm so glad I waited until I saw something really worth having.

This is one of my favorite photos from the book. So beautiful.

Why's the rum always gone?

2006-07-19T11:03:47Z

Just realised not told all you luverly people about Saturday yet.......

We had been invited to the opening of an exhibition for kids at the Maritime Museum that Justina has been involved in organising. The title of the exhibition was Shipwrecked! so of course we took the opportunity to dress up as pirates (again!)

The evening started with me arriving at Jus and Phil's, changing into my pirate costume, consuming cheap wine, watching Muppet Treasure Island and then Cutthroat Island, and generally getting into a thoroughly piratey frame of mind. Jus and Phil looked fantabulous in their gear, and so did Cath (who I had never met before but who is luverly!)

Jus comandeered a cab and disappeared off to make sure last minute mishaps didn't happen! We remained behind for an hour for more grog and then wandered accross town to the docks to meet our erstwile first mate (from now on referred to as Gunpowder Gertie).

We arrived to the welcome sight of more alcohol (unfortunately rum was in short supply so we had to make do with beer and malibu cocktails) and a BBQ. Much hilarity was had deciding what our pirate names should be. But eventually the crew were christened, Captain Jim Spoon (Phil), First Mate Gunpowder Gertie (Jus), Longirons Lucy (Cath), and of course the cabin boy Bobby Blowsemhard (me). We paused for a photocall (pics will follow) and then staggered up to the exhibition, trying our best to support ourselves on landsick legs.

When we entered the exhibition we were handed a sheet of paper, much to our disgust it was not a treasure map but a set of riddles which we had to solve to escape the acursed island. For each riddle we had to find the object that fitted with the answer. We found the first one with ease, but then couldn't work out what the hell to do! There was a lever which we decided must raise treasure or supply fresh water or something. Alas we were confuzzled! We just couldn't work it out. Then a small child came out of the bushes, gave us a look of absolute disgust, placed his card under the lever and stamped his card with a picture! Of course we had to pressgang him into our crew to ensure that the story of our ineptitude couldn't spread.

Eventually we managed to collect all the clues and escape from that accursed place

We left with ne'er a backward glance to wend our merry way to a tavern to consume more rum (and it was rum this time!) In said tavern we met a couple who had spent the day shooting with longbows, they showed us their weapons which impressed us greatly and offered to teach us to shoot a bow. Our captain decided that this would be a great thing to do, as it would supply an added advantage next time we attempted to comandeer a ship.

Finally it was time to return to our ship and we staggered home and collapsed into our bunks for dreams of plundered treasure and drunken debauchery.

Oh my word. Are we back to The Crunch again?

2006-07-19T10:17:38Z

You know nothing of the

If you get it, you'll get it.......

If you don't...... well....... I suppose there's still time.......

Where's that undead monkey? I need to shoot something.....

2006-07-18T13:48:45Z

The masters students that I'm supervising are back. *mutters obsenities under breath*

I have enough work to be doing without running around cleaning up their mess. One day they will learn to read instructions! One of them said to me today that he has applied for a job in a lab. I nearly died laughing. I dread to think what his reference from Stuart (my supervisor) will look like!

Oh well, only one (major) mishap today. Idiot tried to kill us all by boiling paraformeldehyde out on the bench. I think I should have locked him in there with it. I am now distinctly light headed and we have a doctor type person coming over to make sure we all ok. Fun!!

On a merrier note, me 'n'ikkleruby are going to look at our potential flat tonight. I hope it all works out ok.

Ghostly goings on!

2006-07-17T12:50:38Z

This amused me!

Tea and cake with a ghostie anyone?

Beeyouwteefool laydeez

2006-07-14T10:38:58Z

I had a wonderful day in Mancland with the_leechwife on Wednesday.

We met a little later than planned as Jenny was having a hair dye disaster and had red and black hair. (I actually thought it looked good but there you go!) We pottered around Affleks Palace for ages, I bought some new clothes (bad Joni!) and other stuffs. Then we had lunch in the cafe before heading back to headquaters to meet 'the other woman' otherwise known as Lydia, and bleach the rest of Jenny's hair. So when she dropped me back at the train station she was red and orange and yellow! She looked like a mini supernova! I'm sure by now she will be red all over.

It was great to see her again. My brain had been suffering from the lack of brainwave swapping. We giggled like fools, quoted boosh at inappropriate moments and generally squeed all day.

She liked her birthday presents which was cool. And she promised to come and visit me in Lillypud soon.

Then on the way back to the 'pool I got a call from ikkleruby so I went straight over to hers from the train. We were meant to be looking at our potential flat but the people weren't in again. Grrrrr. Not that much of a problem though as we spent the evening chatting and eating takeaway.

Then last night was Weese's birthday bash. We pottered over to Mei-mei's for chinese and then went to the Jac and drank more than is probably good for us! The drinking resulted in many cleavage photos which was fun! Got home at a reasonable hour as me 'n' ikkleruby had to be in work this morning.

Think that's it kids. All in all a good few days.

Ikkle baby wabbit!

2006-07-11T21:32:02Z

One of my friends rabbits has recently had babies and she sent this photo of one of them. He's sooooo cute so I just had to share.

That's all!

calmllama @ 2006-07-11T10:59:00

2006-07-11T10:04:08Z

It always amuses me when people show their true colours and they fit exactly with the not entirely flattering picture that you are beginning to build of them!

In other news looks like my trip to Mancland to visit the_leechwife is all set for tomorrow. Will be great to see her and finally give her all the shiny things I got for her birthday. And of course we need to swap brainwaves before one or both of us melts into a messy puddle of incompleteness!

The adventures of Ruby, Joni and the beast called Murphy

2006-07-10T11:48:45Z

Sunday was fun!

Ruby came up to visit Murphy with me. She took lots of photos of me and beastie. Naturally because there was someone watching he refused point blank to jump but hey ho...... that's life!

Horsey kisses!

When I had finished riding Ruby popped on for a minute. She didn't stay on for long. Murph was a perfect gentleman and looked after her for me. He's such a lovely boy!

Ruby onna horse!

I loves my ikkle horsey

See, I can ride

Then after the stables it was all back to mine for food and to watch Casanova. All in all a damn good day!